- Includes three long walks, two cracking rows, and more tea rounds than you might expect
By Rachel Moss
Six meaningful conversations, three long walks and two barnstorming rows every month – that’s the recipe for a perfect relationship, according to new research.
A survey asked 2,000 happily married couples about the inner workings of their relationship and found the most contented placed high importance on trying new things together, going on weekends away, and turning a blind eye when the other person is being moody or annoying.
Happy couples also valued listening to each other grumble about work, showing the other how proud you are of them, and being respectful in front of others.
The research, commissioned by Warner Leisure Hotels, resulted in a list of the 50 – yep, you read right – elements that are supposedly key to a happy relationship.
A fair distribution of household chores paves the way for a successful union, according to the findings, as does being able to laugh with each other after an argument.
Researchers found that 63% of happily married adults place a lot of importance on their other half behaving romantically, with one in five impressed with the larger gestures like booking a trip away. However, 36% are also content with the smaller acts of kindness such as dinner out every now and then. And almost four in 10 consider everyday gestures such as putting the bins out as romantic.
Pursuing your own hobbies and interests, allowing your other half to see you at your worst, and being silly with each other were also all valued highly. The list also promotes that age-old adage, “never go to bed on an argument”, and includes a reminder to always offer your partner a brew when you’re putting the kettle on for yourself.
How many of the components do you recognise from your relationship? Read the full list of 50 to find out:
Top 50 key components of a happy marriage:
- Spending quality time together
- Looking after them when they’re sick
- Feeling you can be completely yourself
- Letting them pursue their own hobbies and interests
- Seeing each other at your worst and best
- Having regular cuddles
- Being respectful to them in front of others
- Making regular plans together
- Being proud of their achievements
- Being silly with each other
- Exploring new places together
- Sharing the same sense of humour
- Trying new things together
- Always remembering important occasions
- Not making decisions for each other without checking in first
- Having a fair distribution of household chores
- Showing an interest and engage even when they’re talking about something you really don’t understand
- Forgiving their bad habits
- Doing things they want to do, even if you don’t enjoy it
- Saying ‘I love you’ every day
- Saying ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ each day
- Listening to the other grumble about work
- Going on weekends away together
- Always making them a hot drink when you make one
- Not going to sleep on an argument
- Turning a blind eye when the other is grumpy
- Being prepared to watch TV shows you don’t like
- Being nice to their family / get on with the in-laws
- Having a good routine
- Being forgiving if they admit to bumping the car or shrinking your favourite t-shirt
- Going to some length to make one another laugh
- Being able to laugh about arguments afterwards
- Watching a TV series together and trusting the other one not to watch an episode alone
- Noting when they talk about something they are interested in or want, and treat them with it later
- Make an effort with their friends
- Accepting that sometimes you get a better night’s sleep apart
- Picking your battles
- Having weird in-jokes
- Surprising them with gifts
- Always praising them to other people
- Being prepared to share your meal when eating out
- Saying they still look beautiful when they’re looking their worst
- Being comfortable with going to the toilet in front of each other
- Buying an extra snack or drink even though they said they didn’t want it (because you know they will want one when they see yours)
- Passing wind in front of each other without being grossed out
- Leaving nice messages for one another
- One of you being a voice of reason
- Regularly delivering tea or coffee in bed
- Playfully insulting each other relentlessly
- Always taking one another’s side even if they’re not right
First published in Huffington Post, https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/entry/how-to-have-a-happy-relationship-marriage_uk_62038e42e4b083570899fd7c